Girls and Food: An Ah-Ha moment

As I was writing "Girls and Food" I was thinking back over the past year or so about how I portrayed the weight-loss journey to my kids. Because I knew that they were watching, I wanted to be positive about the whole thing: "I want to lose weight to be healthy not skinny" was what I hoped to convey.  But then it was brought to my remembrance, "Remember how you pray that your kids never have to deal with all that comes along with needing to lose weight?" And then I thought, "Be careful what you ask for."

Back when Babe and I were trying to get pregnant with our second child, I prayed that God would help me gain the weight I needed to gain for a healthy pregnancy and not have to lose a "ton" of weight on top of what I already needed to lose. Be careful what you ask for. When I found out I was pregnant with Nas, it was maybe a week before I started to get violently ill with morning sickness. I puked up EVERYTHING for most of the pregnancy. I think I could eat and only get queasy the last couple of months or so. Well, in the end I lost 15 pounds from being so sick, and gained 15 pounds during my last trimester. That wasn't exactly what I meant when I asked God to help me keep the weight gain to a minimum. I gained NOTHING during my pregnancy, but boy did I pay for it.

So now that I realize the things I SAY and PRAY need to be paired with statements and prayers of what I DO want for myself and for my kids, I need to stop saying I hope my kids never get fat - basically - and say things like "Please God, help us be parents who raise kids to see food as fuel and not as an emotional crutch or best friend."  Because after the last week or so, I realize my daughter agrees, It doesn't pay to get fat. But her way of going about it as an 11 year old is not healthy nor is it rational considering she still has growing to do.

As always, I played my part and although it took a lesson for me to learn how to adjust my thinking, I get it. I am also reminded of an article I read about a woman with cancer who said she struggled all of her life to get the weight off and now there wasn't a thing she could do to maintain a healthy weight because cancer was eating away at her body. I want to be at a healthy weight so I can enjoy life with my family, but when my mind goes to a place that is obsessive I remember the lady with cancer. I remember that this is one of the few times I'll have a captive audience. An audience of two: my kids.