Girls will be Girls

Growing up I didn't have many friends - male or female. I was very shy and to myself, but I knew that I wanted ONE person to have lunch with, to play on the playground with, to have over sometimes to hang out with. Throughout grade school I typically had up to three friends who I hung out with, but always that one best girlfriend.

Over time I found girls to be catty, gossipy, back-biting...shall I continue? So in junior high and high school I threw a few nice guys into the mix. Guys who liked basketball and rap, in particular, because then we had something to talk about. I didn't associate with them outside of school, and hardly even outside of whichever class we shared! But it was nice to just 'be' and talk about things I enjoyed that girls weren't into. This was a must not only because girls proved to be just plain mean, but also because I couldn't have cared one iota less about makeup, fashion, or the like. It was a win-win this 'male friends' concept.

Now that my daughter is 14 and a freshman in high school I see live and in color just how dreadful the female species is toward each other.

First things first, I was quiet and I just naturally flew under the radar. I didn't go out of my way to hang with the popular kids and I was of no interest to them. Jay is one of those cute girls who knows how to put together cute outfits, wear her makeup just right, and is into the cool things - pop culture. She is one of the cool kids at school. That alone sets her up for all kinds of attention. Girls have talked about what she wears, how she wears it, her relationship with the boy she hung out with - in a group no less - over the summer, she apparently has breast implants, and generally cannot do anything right in their eyes.

My daughter reminds me of this girl I went to school with in junior high and high school - Kelly - who was pretty, had her stuff together, was very smart and just had 'it'. I admired her because she had all the pieces and was just a very nice girl! I wonder what kind of mess girls talked about her!? Jay has people who compliment her, but of course, the haters stand out in her mind.

I'm thankful that my kids are pretty confident in themselves and most of the crap just gets brushed off their shoulders. I just wish that as girls, as women, we could treat each other better. I don't have what you have, you don't have what I have...SO? The grass is always greener on the other side until you get over there and have to mow it! It is my hope that I am teaching my daughter to be a strong woman who knows the value of a quality friendship with another woman. Hopefully other mothers are doing the same.