It has been a bumpy year for me and Babe as a couple. Only recently did I hear that year eight is a tough one for marriages. Great. Good to know. Well, we attended a marriage conference about a month ago and I'd say we've both made great use of the tools we acquired during that conference and I pray we keep growing stronger. After the marriage conference I was going through some books and came across "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian and decided it was time to get real about what every marriage should be made up of: a husband, a wife, and God.
I started reading, but decided chapter two was most pressing at that time: His Work. If you know Babe you know how much he loves his work - thankfully - but there are times when the guy is in the zone and it's very difficult to get his attention, fully, when he's in that place. This chapter seemed appropriate because THAT, after all, was the root of our problem! Well...I decided after reading chapter two that chapter one might be something I should read. Boy did the author have me pegged.
Chapter one: His Wife. This brilliant woman must have met me at some point because most of the chapter is ABOUT me - basically, my jumping to chapter two said it all. "Natalie is quite sure that all of her marriage issues are because of her husband." And everything in chapter two admonished me for thinking that way, and thinking back on it, that wasn't really fun. She wrote that I needed to pray before I approach him with my plethora of issues (novel idea!), I needed to be sure I'm covering all the bases God has set before me as Babe's wife (nope), even in arguing I am to be respectful of Babe (good reminder), and to let go of expectations I may have of him (and boy were there LOTS of those!). In short, my marriage will not be what either of us wants it to be without prayer - it won't change because I think it needs to.
So, it looks like it starts with me. As usual I dragged my feet because WHY does it ALWAYS have to start with ME?! But once I got past my stubborn ways, I found that just a few chapters/prayers in I - yes, me, Natalie - am changing in ways that make our marriage better. Well what do you know? Working on myself allows me to become what God's true plan for me as Babe's wife has always been. And no I'm nowhere near perfect, but I'm not the wife I used to be. And the cool part (as my dad would say) is that God is working on me, but at the same time he's softening Babe's heart making him far more receptive to me than ever before - and what wife doesn't want that?!
On August 3, 2002, I made a vow to myself, to Babe, and to God to do my part in this marriage. And I take that vow very, very seriously. So even if it means I have to take the full-length mirror out and really look at myself, then ask God to improve me in ways only He can - then that's just what I'm going to do because it is quite obvious that change truly does begin with me.
3 comments:
It is amazing to read about two people so committed to making their marriage work…good for both of you! It seems like in this day and age so many are quick to give up and call it quits.
So many wives miss the mark. But, God is a God who is able to reveal things to us and He prepares us before illumination takes place. I am so thankful for His tenderness.
Not sure how I came across your blog but I like your fun, quirky writing style. I can relate to a lot of what you have going on lol. Then I read this piece and saw that you read "The Power of a Praying wife". What did you think of it? Funny, bcuz a week ago my mom recommended it to me because I'm going through a very rough spell in my marriage. I'm on the verge of separation and I've just been reading different sites for self-help since therapy didn't seem to work. At this point it's reading and prayer :)
Did you you take away from it? Has your marriage improved as a result? ~Monica
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