Most days I able to rationalize that my parents are busy taking care of those who need them most right now. They are holding babies, hugging orphaned children, befriending widows, teaching skills that will carry people throughout their lives in the vast country of Congo. Most days I realize that my parents, Debbie and Dave, are in Congo creating a "new normal" for themselves and taking every day as it comes. My Dad is up early spending time with God, reading and praying. My Mom is making sure that Dad doesn't starve considering his limited preferred food options. They send us clips of their home whilst they're away doing missionary work. Clips that include a toucan sitting in a tree, goats playing in their front yard the way rabbits hang out in ours. Most days I am so happy they are off on this adventure together, they listened to God speak into their lives and they trusted Him to provide and protect.
Then there are days like today. Days when I feel like I should be able to pick up the phone and chat with my Mom after I get the kids off to school. When I just wish I could drive up to Fort Collins and just be "Bink", their daughter - not the slew of hats I wear when I'm in my own territory. Days like today when I wish my Dad was just a phone call away either en route to visit someone who needs him to hold their hand and pray over them, or at his church office upstairs overlooking the sanctuary. Today is the kind of day I would do just about anything to have Dad sitting on my couch watching the news or ESPN after a meeting in Denver. He'd ask me for a bunch of things: "Whatcha got to drink, Bink?", "You got any chips?", "Let's run over to Best Buy (or Home Depot), I wanna look at something." And I'd oblige.
My family: my parents, my sister and I, are very close. I knew this before they left for Africa last December, but I think this has made it very clear just how close we all really are. What I know for sure is that no matter what kind of day it is, my parents miss me as much as I miss them and having family like that is something to cherish. But I can honestly say that I'm not sure it'll be as easy to be as selfless should they "ask" me if they can go fah-fah away for two years again. I hope they are fully enjoying their missionary work and immersing themselves into the beautiful culture of the Congolese - but come December 2013, when they return home, I may not be willing to "let" them leave the state for more than a week without getting a twitch.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Staying in my lane
It's been twice now that I've planned, in my head, some time to spend "just being girls" with Jay. Not so long ago this was fool-proof and we both really enjoyed it! But these days it seems when my baby girl gets any free time, she quickly has something planned with friends, namely her best friend. I must mention that she doesn't know of my mental plans, so who wouldn't want to hook up with the homies?!
Anyway, on Friday night I planned on finding something for us to watch together and having some popcorn while the guys were at Nas's football practice. At 4:15, like clock work, Jay asks if she can go hang out with her friend at the park. Although it's hard for me to watch her grow up so much so fast, I almost always let her go even if I had made plans in my mind for us. Who wants to be that Mom who forces their kid to spend time with them? Plus I know that she doesn't get much time with her friends, so you know what? As Amy Duncan would say, Whatevs.
It'll only get worse over time, so for now I make sure to be up early enough to spend some time with her over breakfast before she leaves for school and stop whatever I'm doing when she deems it necessary to tell me about what so-and-so said or did, or what funny thing happened in class. Because to be honest, it doesn't happen as often as it used to! So I'll appreciate every moment and every little conversation we share. I never heard anyone say motherhood was easy, not before I became a mom and not after, but if someone could convey the feeling a mom feels when she is, inevitably, forced to let go, I could almost guarantee we'd have much less of a population problem in this world.
Anyway, on Friday night I planned on finding something for us to watch together and having some popcorn while the guys were at Nas's football practice. At 4:15, like clock work, Jay asks if she can go hang out with her friend at the park. Although it's hard for me to watch her grow up so much so fast, I almost always let her go even if I had made plans in my mind for us. Who wants to be that Mom who forces their kid to spend time with them? Plus I know that she doesn't get much time with her friends, so you know what? As Amy Duncan would say, Whatevs.
It'll only get worse over time, so for now I make sure to be up early enough to spend some time with her over breakfast before she leaves for school and stop whatever I'm doing when she deems it necessary to tell me about what so-and-so said or did, or what funny thing happened in class. Because to be honest, it doesn't happen as often as it used to! So I'll appreciate every moment and every little conversation we share. I never heard anyone say motherhood was easy, not before I became a mom and not after, but if someone could convey the feeling a mom feels when she is, inevitably, forced to let go, I could almost guarantee we'd have much less of a population problem in this world.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Another year
My birthday is fast approaching! On the 21st of this month I will be 34 years old. Since turning 30, I find every year must be filled with a purpose. It doesn't have to be earth-shattering to anyone else, but it needs to be a year focused on something I would like to improve upon in my life. This year I worked on me, physically. For years I've wanted to lose weight and this past year I decided to get really real about it. I'm so glad I did because I don't think I've felt better in at least 10 years!
So for my 34th birthday, I am committing myself to choosing a career path and giving it my all. I've spent plenty of the past 11 years raising little kids who have grown into big school-age kids. I even have a middle-schooler! Whaaaat?!?! Yeah. Well now it's time for me to have something that is mine, that I focus on, that I truly enjoy - and I'm really excited about that! Fortunately becoming a personal trainer will allow me to study the curriculum for six months, then take the test for certification. I'm not a fan of school, I love learning, but the school setting has never really been my thing. I can even wear Nikes to work! So this should be a good fit! I'm excited because I do enjoy exercise and how it has changed my body even in the year I've spent changing my eating habits and being more active. To help other people reach their goals will be very fulfilling, plus I can start a blog about healthy living - what's not to love!??!
When I see the effect my lifestyle change has had on my kids I know I can make a difference in someone's life. They know how to read a nutrition label, even Nas is coming along. Although I typically make choosing healthy foods pretty easy by keeping too much junk out of the house, the kids can go out to eat and still make great choices! Now to get through to them that we can enjoy whatever we want, just not every day and there's no reason to suck down a Slurpee bigger than the smallest cup (NAS!). But overall, I've led by example and the kids are following suit. Maybe they can avoid the lesson I had to learn to get myself back to a healthier place in fitness and nutrition.
I don't know what 34 holds for me, but since turning 30, I have had some really good days - and for that I'm so thankful! When people talk about turning 30 it's typically pretty somber, but not for me. If 30s are this good, I can't WAIT to see what the 40s bring - well, assuming I continue to grow and unravel the woman God meant for me to be! Okay, so I can wait, but I'm not dreading getting older. I'm closer to looking the way I want to look, feeling the way I want to feel, and living the way I want to live, and 34 will just put me one year closer. Here's to 34...
So for my 34th birthday, I am committing myself to choosing a career path and giving it my all. I've spent plenty of the past 11 years raising little kids who have grown into big school-age kids. I even have a middle-schooler! Whaaaat?!?! Yeah. Well now it's time for me to have something that is mine, that I focus on, that I truly enjoy - and I'm really excited about that! Fortunately becoming a personal trainer will allow me to study the curriculum for six months, then take the test for certification. I'm not a fan of school, I love learning, but the school setting has never really been my thing. I can even wear Nikes to work! So this should be a good fit! I'm excited because I do enjoy exercise and how it has changed my body even in the year I've spent changing my eating habits and being more active. To help other people reach their goals will be very fulfilling, plus I can start a blog about healthy living - what's not to love!??!
When I see the effect my lifestyle change has had on my kids I know I can make a difference in someone's life. They know how to read a nutrition label, even Nas is coming along. Although I typically make choosing healthy foods pretty easy by keeping too much junk out of the house, the kids can go out to eat and still make great choices! Now to get through to them that we can enjoy whatever we want, just not every day and there's no reason to suck down a Slurpee bigger than the smallest cup (NAS!). But overall, I've led by example and the kids are following suit. Maybe they can avoid the lesson I had to learn to get myself back to a healthier place in fitness and nutrition.
I don't know what 34 holds for me, but since turning 30, I have had some really good days - and for that I'm so thankful! When people talk about turning 30 it's typically pretty somber, but not for me. If 30s are this good, I can't WAIT to see what the 40s bring - well, assuming I continue to grow and unravel the woman God meant for me to be! Okay, so I can wait, but I'm not dreading getting older. I'm closer to looking the way I want to look, feeling the way I want to feel, and living the way I want to live, and 34 will just put me one year closer. Here's to 34...
How I feel about ME
I think we all have days when we just don't feel cute. Well I've been having a few more than what I consider MY share of "those days"!
My skin is crazy, the change of seasons always brings about an extra pimple or two which makes every girl feel oh-so-pretty! My hair, oh dear Lord, my hair, it's so dry that if you stood too close while lighting a match - POOF! Not only that, I feel like I need to color it once a week because the grays are just relentless! I've had gray since I was 16 and finally, the stupid colorless hair has taken front and center on my head. Not cute. At least not at 33! Give me a BREAK!
So I've been going hard in the gym for awhile now and after losing a good amount of weight the scale just stopped moving in the right direction. A couple of days ago I caught a glimpse of myself in Finish Line and thought, Wow, things are coming along! And that helped. Of course I noticed the pimples I'm sporting, and the hair was not the look I was going for, but when all else failed it was a full-length mirror that helped me see that the hard work I'm putting in really is paying off. Needless to say, I'm investing in a full-length mirror especially if it helps improve the way I feel about ME.
My skin is crazy, the change of seasons always brings about an extra pimple or two which makes every girl feel oh-so-pretty! My hair, oh dear Lord, my hair, it's so dry that if you stood too close while lighting a match - POOF! Not only that, I feel like I need to color it once a week because the grays are just relentless! I've had gray since I was 16 and finally, the stupid colorless hair has taken front and center on my head. Not cute. At least not at 33! Give me a BREAK!
So I've been going hard in the gym for awhile now and after losing a good amount of weight the scale just stopped moving in the right direction. A couple of days ago I caught a glimpse of myself in Finish Line and thought, Wow, things are coming along! And that helped. Of course I noticed the pimples I'm sporting, and the hair was not the look I was going for, but when all else failed it was a full-length mirror that helped me see that the hard work I'm putting in really is paying off. Needless to say, I'm investing in a full-length mirror especially if it helps improve the way I feel about ME.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Football Mom
It was probably when I was in middle school that I first heard the term, "Soccer mom". The visual I concocted back then was of a mom who brought snacks for the team, drove a mini-van, and made sure her kids were ready for the big game on Saturday. So when I became a mom I wondered what sports and activities my kids would participate in as they got older.
Fast-forward a few years and here I am a Dance Mom and a Football Mom. I'm also a Track Mom and a Basketball Mom. If I knew then what I know now, that just means I spend a lot of time in my SUV taking kids to and from practices and games. My weekend plans must be scheduled around games and some of those games are spent on very hot fields or tracks with the sun cooking me to a crisp.
I'm learning what we need for this gig I call Football Mom. Last weekend was the first real football game and I had NO idea a game for 7-year-olds could last 2 hours! I was so hot and hungry I could have chewed off my arm, it was cooked to medium-well by then. So I will definitely need to pack a cooler - on wheels thanks to a suggestion made by my older sister who's been there done that - with snacks and plenty of water. Hopefully we can get some kind of umbrella, tent, get-out-of-the-sun coverage mechanism soon because I refuse to sit and fry again! I figure it'll be freezing cold soon enough and it'll still be useful on those cold, windy days. Sadly, I'd almost rather not go to the game than sit and be as uncomfortable as I was last weekend!!!
The expectation in our house is that the kids will be active. With childhood obesity rates climbing every day, keeping the kids moving will help offset weight gain, so it's worthwhile to us. But I've come to the realization that keeping them active means a full schedule of planning ahead for snacks and water bottles, driving to and from games and practices - which aren't always close by! Oh and lots of money spent on uniforms, pads, running shoes, ballet shoes, and cleats. I'm sure Dance/Track/Football/Basketball Mom is no different a gig than Soccer Mom is, only I don't drive a mini-van.
Fast-forward a few years and here I am a Dance Mom and a Football Mom. I'm also a Track Mom and a Basketball Mom. If I knew then what I know now, that just means I spend a lot of time in my SUV taking kids to and from practices and games. My weekend plans must be scheduled around games and some of those games are spent on very hot fields or tracks with the sun cooking me to a crisp.
I'm learning what we need for this gig I call Football Mom. Last weekend was the first real football game and I had NO idea a game for 7-year-olds could last 2 hours! I was so hot and hungry I could have chewed off my arm, it was cooked to medium-well by then. So I will definitely need to pack a cooler - on wheels thanks to a suggestion made by my older sister who's been there done that - with snacks and plenty of water. Hopefully we can get some kind of umbrella, tent, get-out-of-the-sun coverage mechanism soon because I refuse to sit and fry again! I figure it'll be freezing cold soon enough and it'll still be useful on those cold, windy days. Sadly, I'd almost rather not go to the game than sit and be as uncomfortable as I was last weekend!!!
The expectation in our house is that the kids will be active. With childhood obesity rates climbing every day, keeping the kids moving will help offset weight gain, so it's worthwhile to us. But I've come to the realization that keeping them active means a full schedule of planning ahead for snacks and water bottles, driving to and from games and practices - which aren't always close by! Oh and lots of money spent on uniforms, pads, running shoes, ballet shoes, and cleats. I'm sure Dance/Track/Football/Basketball Mom is no different a gig than Soccer Mom is, only I don't drive a mini-van.
Better late than never
In the past couple of summers I have started taking my 'green thumb' outdoors. With the help of my friend I have been able to plant a few flowers and bushes outside to help bring some oomph to our yard. There is one flower that I really like, and although it says it's an annual, it returns every summer since I planted the seeds a few years ago. The cosmos start to grow in June and I don't get to see the pretty daisy-like bloom until late July! Granted, I'll get to see the pretty shades of pink and white flowers until October if there's no monsoonal winds (they even withstand a wet snowfall!), but still, waiting until late July or early August is hard when you want to see something thrive during the summer months.
I feel like the life cycle of my cosmos resembles my life, at least when we're talking about a career path. When I found out I was pregnant with Jay in 2000, I was in my third year of college studying journalism. My plan was to finish college, but when my counselor told me it would take me two years if I could get the classes I needed, I was over the college scene. That feeling was solidified the day I went to English class and could barely fit into my desk.
Then after Jay was born I decided to go to community college so I could get some kind of degree and get a decent job to help support our family. Why I thought I'd enjoy computer science is beyond me, but that clearly didn't work out. From there I worked as an administrative assistant for a few different offices, made a little money to keep us afloat while Babe got his feet on the ground in his new career, then became full-time at-home mom and pregnant with Nas.
For years I felt my job was to raise our babies at home, meanwhile I blogged about it. I loved blogging, I've always loved writing, and it gave me an outlet while I was home with two little ones. The thing about being an at-home mom, though, is that unless you keep having babies, the kids will leave you...well...at home! They both have been in school full-time since last school year so now it's time for Mama to really figure out what she wants to be when she grows up.
Recently I've become interested in nutrition and wanted to go to school to become a holistic nutritionist. But when I started working out and trying to get my sexy back, I found that molding the body is something I enjoy and maybe I could help someone else reach their goals! So now I am going to take six months of studying and learning about the human body and the business side of personal training so I can have a career of my own. And I can even dress the way I feel most comfortable! In a pair of NIKES! I'm not sure there's a more perfect career for me!
Much like the slow growing cosmos in our backyard, it took time for me to settle into what I believe God has called me to do with my life: help others get healthy. Not only that, I can use the gift He blessed me with and write about what I do every day. A marriage of two things I truly love. When it comes to working and having my own career, I may be a late bloomer, but I keep reminding myself: Better late than never.
I feel like the life cycle of my cosmos resembles my life, at least when we're talking about a career path. When I found out I was pregnant with Jay in 2000, I was in my third year of college studying journalism. My plan was to finish college, but when my counselor told me it would take me two years if I could get the classes I needed, I was over the college scene. That feeling was solidified the day I went to English class and could barely fit into my desk.
Then after Jay was born I decided to go to community college so I could get some kind of degree and get a decent job to help support our family. Why I thought I'd enjoy computer science is beyond me, but that clearly didn't work out. From there I worked as an administrative assistant for a few different offices, made a little money to keep us afloat while Babe got his feet on the ground in his new career, then became full-time at-home mom and pregnant with Nas.
For years I felt my job was to raise our babies at home, meanwhile I blogged about it. I loved blogging, I've always loved writing, and it gave me an outlet while I was home with two little ones. The thing about being an at-home mom, though, is that unless you keep having babies, the kids will leave you...well...at home! They both have been in school full-time since last school year so now it's time for Mama to really figure out what she wants to be when she grows up.
Recently I've become interested in nutrition and wanted to go to school to become a holistic nutritionist. But when I started working out and trying to get my sexy back, I found that molding the body is something I enjoy and maybe I could help someone else reach their goals! So now I am going to take six months of studying and learning about the human body and the business side of personal training so I can have a career of my own. And I can even dress the way I feel most comfortable! In a pair of NIKES! I'm not sure there's a more perfect career for me!
Much like the slow growing cosmos in our backyard, it took time for me to settle into what I believe God has called me to do with my life: help others get healthy. Not only that, I can use the gift He blessed me with and write about what I do every day. A marriage of two things I truly love. When it comes to working and having my own career, I may be a late bloomer, but I keep reminding myself: Better late than never.
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