Nas has been playing flag football for two seasons now. Last season the kid was unstoppable. And I mean he tore up and down the length of the field every time he was hiked the ball.
This season? Not so much.
I can't recall one game where Nas didn't have a stomachache that sidelined him, a kick or bump to his leg during a play, or a fall during a play that sent him to the bench in pain and/or tears. Granted, each time he came to the bench he was genuinely in pain, but the difference this season is that it seemed to always be just what he needed to get out of the game for a few minutes if not longer.
Babe and I found ourselves baffled. How does a kid who loves playing sports suddenly decide that he is going to find a reason, ANY reason, to be pulled out of the game? Babe takes Nas to practice and Nas always does some "Nas style" move that gets him around an opponent in a way most 7 year olds just don't do. So we wondered why practice was where he felt comfortable enough to shine, but game day was just not his thing.
Til this past Saturday.
Nas said his nose was stuffy so he didn't want to go to the game. I was frustrated at this point because watching him last season I know what he is capable of and he wouldn't tell us what the problem was regarding this season! So he was going to that game, after all, he committed to playing and his team and coaches were depending on him! Later as it got close to time to leave for the football field, Nas was in tears. He simply didn't want to go.
"Do you like playing?" Babe asked him. Nas nodded yes. "Are you nervous to play?" Nas nodded again. It was anxiety. Stage fright, performance anxiety, whatever you want to call it, my baby had it bad.
This came as no real surprise to me because I spent most of my life with my shoulders tensed up to my ears. I struggle still, with anxiety in certain situations. So knowing that Nas is so much like me, I had an inkling that anxiety might be the issue. We spent a little time talking about our expectations - we don't expect him to be perfect, just to do his best; we don't care if he wins or loses as long as he put forth the effort; and that if he practiced hard on Wednesday night before the game, he's ready for game day. Nas cried while we had the conversation, but in practice I could see a change come over him. He was smiling! It was something I hadn't seen all season on game day. I knew immediately that our prayers had been answered and that Nas would be okay this game. His team lost, but I don't think there's been a winning game when I have been more proud of my son. God blessed Nas with His peace and Nas was able to do what he does best and give it his all.
A lot of times I think because I'm the Mom I am supposed to know all and be all - like giving birth made me God. My best friend reminded me that now that we know what Nas is dealing with, I can do what I need to do for him and pray that God will continue to fill in the gaps where I am lacking as a mother. That's all I can do - my best - and keep praying for my kids because no one knows them like God does.
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