Pizza Night!

Ever since I can remember, my little boy has loved commercials.  He repeats them when you least expect it, and it's been that way since he was probably 2 years old! Not unlike many people, commercials get him interested in new toys, new snacks, even family travel ideas, and earlier this week was no different.

After homework has been completed, Nas likes to watch "a show" or two before dinner.  While watching "a show" earlier this week he saw a pizza commercial, probably Pizza Hut, and said "We should have pizza for dinner!" Ha! Babe was out of town on business and all I had in mind was leftovers to help clean out the fridge.

"Hm, that does sound good. How about Friday?" I suggested.
"Huh, okay," Nas said as he went back to his show.

Television has it's place after all.  It helps our family plan dinner menus and, as of late, it has provided Nas with the idea that we should go on a Disney Cruise for a family trip. 

"They have games, pools, even a mystery game I could play with other kids on the cruise! We should go, Mommy!" He offered one day at breakfast.

See, so all is not lost when it comes to allowing kids to watch TV during their free time.  All I can do is laugh when Nas comes up with these random ideas based on commercials.  I hope the marketing and advertising people are making BIG bucks for these ads and their strategic placement because we're having pizza night tonight AND apparently, at least in Nas's minds, the Disney Cruise is back on the must-do list.  Good heavens.

Like mother, like...Son

Nas has been playing flag football for two seasons now.  Last season the kid was unstoppable.  And I mean he tore up and down the length of the field every time he was hiked the ball.

This season? Not so much.

I can't recall one game where Nas didn't have a stomachache that sidelined him, a kick or bump to his leg during a play, or a fall during a play that sent him to the bench in pain and/or tears.  Granted, each time he came to the bench he was genuinely in pain, but the difference this season is that it seemed to always be just what he needed to get out of the game for a few minutes if not longer.

Babe and I found ourselves baffled.  How does a kid who loves playing sports suddenly decide that he is going to find a reason, ANY reason, to be pulled out of the game? Babe takes Nas to practice and Nas always does some "Nas style" move that gets him around an opponent in a way most 7 year olds just don't do. So we wondered why practice was where he felt comfortable enough to shine, but game day was just not his thing.

 Til this past Saturday.

Nas said his nose was stuffy so he didn't want to go to the game.  I was frustrated at this point because watching him last season I know what he is capable of and he wouldn't tell us what the problem was regarding this season! So he was going to that game, after all, he committed to playing and his team and coaches were depending on him! Later as it got close to time to leave for the football field, Nas was in tears.  He simply didn't want to go.

"Do you like playing?" Babe asked him.  Nas nodded yes.  "Are you nervous to play?" Nas nodded again.  It was anxiety.  Stage fright, performance anxiety, whatever you want to call it, my baby had it bad.

This came as no real surprise to me because I spent most of my life with my shoulders tensed up to my ears.  I struggle still, with anxiety in certain situations. So knowing that Nas is so much like me, I had an inkling that anxiety might be the issue.  We spent a little time talking about our expectations - we don't expect him to be perfect, just to do his best; we don't care if he wins or loses as long as he put forth the effort; and that if he practiced hard on Wednesday night before the game, he's ready for game day.  Nas cried while we had the conversation, but in practice I could see a change come over him.  He was smiling! It was something I hadn't seen all season on game day.  I knew immediately that our prayers had been answered and that Nas would be okay this game.  His team lost, but I don't think there's been a winning game when I have been more proud of my son.  God blessed Nas with His peace and Nas was able to do what he does best and give it his all.

A lot of times I think because I'm the Mom I am supposed to know all and be all - like giving birth made me God.  My best friend reminded me that now that we know what Nas is dealing with, I can do what I need to do for him and pray that God will continue to fill in the gaps where I am lacking as a mother.  That's all I can do - my best - and keep praying for my kids because no one knows them like God does.

Continuation Anticipation

In early June, Jay will have a ceremony that marks the continuation from 5th grade into middle school.  It is hard not to be excited for her because she has been looking forward to a new school, new friends, a fresh start for some time now.  In true Jay fashion, she was ready for middle school in 4th grade. So, the realization that Jay is so ready for this transition softens the blow to my Mommy heart.  Until I start thinking too hard about how fast the 11 years I have shared with my firstborn have gone by.

This is just another practice in letting go.  The earliest memories I have of letting go, the hardest ones, were when I had to leave her for her first day at a new daycare center.  She didn't cry, she smiled and waved goodbye then toddled over to a shelf of toys - at nine months.  Her first day of kindergarten I cried.  How on Earth had five years breezed by?! She was the picture of confidence, having chosen her cute first day outfit and hairstyle.  It's hard to let her go and grow, every step has been hard, but she faces each change in her life with such excitement and zeal that it has become contagious!

In short, I can't wait for Jay's continuation ceremony.  She's ready, she's well-prepared, she still talks to me about things going on in her life, and she has such a good head on her shoulders.  What more could any mother ask for? I think I am reminded DAILY of the brilliant quote, "The days are long, but the years are short." I am so proud of my daughter and although the years truly seem so short, I have enjoyed every moment I have spent learning and loving through her eyes.

Getting back to ALL things ME

For some reason I was wired with a one-track mind. It became obvious to me when I realized that God knew I was to be an at-home Mom because I would either focus all of my energy on WORK or on MOTHERHOOD. Clearly, not all women are this way, but I most definitely am. That said, when I turn my focus to a new goal or project, other things begin to fall away. This blog is evidence of that. I love writing. There is something, for me, that is so very special about allowing my fingers to tell the tale my brain can't formulate quickly enough for my mouth to speak. It's been this way for me since I was eight years old.

When I started writing as a child, I thought a whole new world had opened up for me! Well, it had! I was very quiet as a child so writing quickly became my favorite mode of conversation. As the years go by, I find more and more things that pique my interest and writing, from time to time, takes a backseat - or worse yet - it gets put out of the car! This was the case in the past few months. Although I think of it often, I haven't written a thought down on paper, or blog, in months. Lately my mind has been all over the place, but specifically on my weight-loss goal and my latest career dream.

I'll go more into the career dream later, but since August 2011, I have lost 26 pounds. It's one of my greatest accomplishments in a very long time. It was a goal I set for myself, to lose 20 pounds, and it was something only I could do for myself. This weight loss took a ton of prayer, effort, focus, sacrifice, and CARDIO! And it was all on me to do to reach the goal I set. I still have six pounds that refuse to budge, then I would like to set another goal for myself after those six go packing.

Needless to say, the gym has been on my weekly list of to-dos so much lately that I feel like my car could get there on auto-pilot! It's time for me to remember all of the things I love, writing being one of them. I'm going to do my best because I deserve nothing less!! Plus, there's so much going on in my life regarding the kids AND summer is coming! No way can I let this time go by without chronicling it all here! It is my memory bank where the most precious memories in my world go so I can look back and reminisce when my babies truly are no longer babies. I had better start depositing again!