Last Wednesday during dance class, Jay caught her foot on a piece of tape on the dance floor and sprained her foot. Initially she didn't complain much, only mentioning it when she came home after class. But it wasn't long before her foot started to swell and become a nuisance around our house.
I consider dance a sport of sorts. Much like Nas will likely play football, hopefully basketball, and any other sport he may become interested in, Jay's sport of choice is dance. This is her second year of taking dance classes which means I'm very new to this sports injury thing. Sure, I played basketball and danced on my high school's dance team, but I never went so hard that I was injured! Babe on the other hand played a few different sports and is familiar with sprains and several other sports injuries. A sprain may be a fairly minor injury, but with dance rehearsals on Wednesdays and Saturdays, plus dress rehearsal and her recital in early June - I'm praying this foot heals quickly.
It would break my heart, and I know it would just about kill my Jay, if she was unable to perform in the recital after a school year's-worth of weekly dance practice. She has worked hard to learn the dances, has started stretching regularly to improve her flexibility, and Jay just generally loves dancing. This has been her passion since she watched Beyonce on the Grammy awards show in 2003! Yes, really.
So along with resting her foot, icing and heating her foot, administering ibuprofen daily, and helping her keep it from getting too stiff - this "dance mom" will be praying that my baby heals quickly so that she can get back on that dance floor and perform on the night of the recital with all the grace and beauty, oh, and sass, she has performed with for so many years.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
I see KIDS!
Okay, so since I gave birth to Jay over 10 years ago, I have been surrounded by children. This has been by choice, seeing as in early 2004, Babe and I decided I would stay home with our then 3-year-old Jay.
Fast-forward to April 2011. I am now the mother of two, Jay is 10 and Nas is 6. I am still at home holding down the fort doing all that any good mom and wife does. On top of that, I have babysat two kids in addition to my own kids, and currently watch a 16-month-old girl and have since she was about two months old. Did I mention I am surrounded by children?
Granted, Jay is in 4th grade, so gone most of the day, and Nas is in kindergarten two full days and a half, so I definitely have enjoyed having a couple of days to myself. But after all of these years raising these little kiddies, mama's ready to break out. I am ready to do something that is "mine" and that gets me out of the house sometimes.
Fast-forward to April 2011. I am now the mother of two, Jay is 10 and Nas is 6. I am still at home holding down the fort doing all that any good mom and wife does. On top of that, I have babysat two kids in addition to my own kids, and currently watch a 16-month-old girl and have since she was about two months old. Did I mention I am surrounded by children?
Granted, Jay is in 4th grade, so gone most of the day, and Nas is in kindergarten two full days and a half, so I definitely have enjoyed having a couple of days to myself. But after all of these years raising these little kiddies, mama's ready to break out. I am ready to do something that is "mine" and that gets me out of the house sometimes.
Sleepy Kindie
Periodically my son's kindergarten teacher will pull me aside at pick-up time to inform me that Nas was a "very sleepy boy" that afternoon. Of course, being the Virgo mommy that I am, I quickly wonder how I can fix that. I also wonder what Mrs. L. might be thinking of me as Nas' mother: What, do you let the kid stay up all night? Have you no boundaries? Plug in, raise your kid! First off, if she ever has considered any of these criticisms, she is truly wise to keep them to herself. But when a mother prides herself on raising productive kids, it can grate on her nerves when an obstacle poses itself! Especially one that makes no sense!
Nas is an active little boy, and when I say active I mean he is running from the time he wakes to the time he hits that pillow at night. Speaking of which, he goes to sleep at 7:45 and wakes around 6:45. He wakes around the same time every day whether he stayed up a little later on the weekend or got the full 11 hours. On a good night I can have him in bed at 7:30, but anything earlier than that eludes me. So that comes to about 11 hours of sleep a night, which, according to WebMD is about right for the ripe ol' age of six. I've considered he may be getting too much sleep, but the kid is a monster when he's short-changed! If he's likely getting enough sleep, what is the problem?
Food. I've been thinking of keeping a food journal for Nas on days he is home with me and on days when he packs lunch for school just to see what he might be lacking in his diet. Protein maybe? But, my first thought in this 'mystery' is that he may need an afternoon snack on school days because when at home the kid is really taking it down. Case in point, last night he ate a turkey hot dog on a bun, rice, and a salad. Not long after dinner (6pm or so) he asked for and ate oatmeal. And after a shower and getting ready for bed, the kid ate a slice of pizza. Random? For sure, but when he goes on these "cluster feedings" I just FEED the kid! I say cluster feedings because he did a lot of that as a newborn, I would feed him and maybe an hour later I was feeding him again. Exhausting.
I don't know what is going on with my little boy and these afternoons of fatigue, but it would be nice if he could handle two full days and a half of kindergarten without issue. When I told Jay about Nas's issue at school she replied, "Everyone is tired after lunch, Mommy!" Which I get, heck, come 2:00 I find myself in need of a nap! But something's got to give - first grade, all day every day, is just around the corner! One can hope he'll just grow out of it....right?
Nas is an active little boy, and when I say active I mean he is running from the time he wakes to the time he hits that pillow at night. Speaking of which, he goes to sleep at 7:45 and wakes around 6:45. He wakes around the same time every day whether he stayed up a little later on the weekend or got the full 11 hours. On a good night I can have him in bed at 7:30, but anything earlier than that eludes me. So that comes to about 11 hours of sleep a night, which, according to WebMD is about right for the ripe ol' age of six. I've considered he may be getting too much sleep, but the kid is a monster when he's short-changed! If he's likely getting enough sleep, what is the problem?
Food. I've been thinking of keeping a food journal for Nas on days he is home with me and on days when he packs lunch for school just to see what he might be lacking in his diet. Protein maybe? But, my first thought in this 'mystery' is that he may need an afternoon snack on school days because when at home the kid is really taking it down. Case in point, last night he ate a turkey hot dog on a bun, rice, and a salad. Not long after dinner (6pm or so) he asked for and ate oatmeal. And after a shower and getting ready for bed, the kid ate a slice of pizza. Random? For sure, but when he goes on these "cluster feedings" I just FEED the kid! I say cluster feedings because he did a lot of that as a newborn, I would feed him and maybe an hour later I was feeding him again. Exhausting.
I don't know what is going on with my little boy and these afternoons of fatigue, but it would be nice if he could handle two full days and a half of kindergarten without issue. When I told Jay about Nas's issue at school she replied, "Everyone is tired after lunch, Mommy!" Which I get, heck, come 2:00 I find myself in need of a nap! But something's got to give - first grade, all day every day, is just around the corner! One can hope he'll just grow out of it....right?
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
It starts with me
It has been a bumpy year for me and Babe as a couple. Only recently did I hear that year eight is a tough one for marriages. Great. Good to know. Well, we attended a marriage conference about a month ago and I'd say we've both made great use of the tools we acquired during that conference and I pray we keep growing stronger. After the marriage conference I was going through some books and came across "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian and decided it was time to get real about what every marriage should be made up of: a husband, a wife, and God.
I started reading, but decided chapter two was most pressing at that time: His Work. If you know Babe you know how much he loves his work - thankfully - but there are times when the guy is in the zone and it's very difficult to get his attention, fully, when he's in that place. This chapter seemed appropriate because THAT, after all, was the root of our problem! Well...I decided after reading chapter two that chapter one might be something I should read. Boy did the author have me pegged.
Chapter one: His Wife. This brilliant woman must have met me at some point because most of the chapter is ABOUT me - basically, my jumping to chapter two said it all. "Natalie is quite sure that all of her marriage issues are because of her husband." And everything in chapter two admonished me for thinking that way, and thinking back on it, that wasn't really fun. She wrote that I needed to pray before I approach him with my plethora of issues (novel idea!), I needed to be sure I'm covering all the bases God has set before me as Babe's wife (nope), even in arguing I am to be respectful of Babe (good reminder), and to let go of expectations I may have of him (and boy were there LOTS of those!). In short, my marriage will not be what either of us wants it to be without prayer - it won't change because I think it needs to.
So, it looks like it starts with me. As usual I dragged my feet because WHY does it ALWAYS have to start with ME?! But once I got past my stubborn ways, I found that just a few chapters/prayers in I - yes, me, Natalie - am changing in ways that make our marriage better. Well what do you know? Working on myself allows me to become what God's true plan for me as Babe's wife has always been. And no I'm nowhere near perfect, but I'm not the wife I used to be. And the cool part (as my dad would say) is that God is working on me, but at the same time he's softening Babe's heart making him far more receptive to me than ever before - and what wife doesn't want that?!
On August 3, 2002, I made a vow to myself, to Babe, and to God to do my part in this marriage. And I take that vow very, very seriously. So even if it means I have to take the full-length mirror out and really look at myself, then ask God to improve me in ways only He can - then that's just what I'm going to do because it is quite obvious that change truly does begin with me.
I started reading, but decided chapter two was most pressing at that time: His Work. If you know Babe you know how much he loves his work - thankfully - but there are times when the guy is in the zone and it's very difficult to get his attention, fully, when he's in that place. This chapter seemed appropriate because THAT, after all, was the root of our problem! Well...I decided after reading chapter two that chapter one might be something I should read. Boy did the author have me pegged.
Chapter one: His Wife. This brilliant woman must have met me at some point because most of the chapter is ABOUT me - basically, my jumping to chapter two said it all. "Natalie is quite sure that all of her marriage issues are because of her husband." And everything in chapter two admonished me for thinking that way, and thinking back on it, that wasn't really fun. She wrote that I needed to pray before I approach him with my plethora of issues (novel idea!), I needed to be sure I'm covering all the bases God has set before me as Babe's wife (nope), even in arguing I am to be respectful of Babe (good reminder), and to let go of expectations I may have of him (and boy were there LOTS of those!). In short, my marriage will not be what either of us wants it to be without prayer - it won't change because I think it needs to.
So, it looks like it starts with me. As usual I dragged my feet because WHY does it ALWAYS have to start with ME?! But once I got past my stubborn ways, I found that just a few chapters/prayers in I - yes, me, Natalie - am changing in ways that make our marriage better. Well what do you know? Working on myself allows me to become what God's true plan for me as Babe's wife has always been. And no I'm nowhere near perfect, but I'm not the wife I used to be. And the cool part (as my dad would say) is that God is working on me, but at the same time he's softening Babe's heart making him far more receptive to me than ever before - and what wife doesn't want that?!
On August 3, 2002, I made a vow to myself, to Babe, and to God to do my part in this marriage. And I take that vow very, very seriously. So even if it means I have to take the full-length mirror out and really look at myself, then ask God to improve me in ways only He can - then that's just what I'm going to do because it is quite obvious that change truly does begin with me.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
...and Then there are Days
There are days when I wake up ready for and excited about the day. Those are the days when all is just right in my world and there is nothing that can change my mood.
And then there are days when I wake up wondering just what I can do to lift the overwhelming desire to crawl back into the warmth of my bed. I wonder what about this day will be missed if I choose to just check out. Check out of the mundane duties that really should be done, and why not today? Check out on one of few days the kids have home from school and just watch Lifetime Movies all day, when I should be interacting, plugging in as their mother.
Then I realize - they are the very reason I cannot 'check out'. So I drag myself upstairs to get ready for the day. I give myself the 'You can DO this' pep talk in the bathroom mirror. I pull it together for no other reason than because I am a mother, I am their mother, the only one they'll ever have. And one day they won't care if I would rather stay in bed and watch Lifetime Movies all day. It will be THAT day I spend regretting having checked out when they wanted to hang with me. And the present day me cannot stand the lack of air I feel just thinking about those 'lost' days when the kids are older.
There are days when you feel like a million bucks, and then there are days like today. But when you are a mother, you don't always get to choose to tend to your own needs - actually, it can be very rarely - so because I am their mother, I will get it together because yes, I can do this. Then maybe later, I can collapse into a pile of lazy bones and read or, heck, watch Lifetime Movies all day.
And then there are days when I wake up wondering just what I can do to lift the overwhelming desire to crawl back into the warmth of my bed. I wonder what about this day will be missed if I choose to just check out. Check out of the mundane duties that really should be done, and why not today? Check out on one of few days the kids have home from school and just watch Lifetime Movies all day, when I should be interacting, plugging in as their mother.
Then I realize - they are the very reason I cannot 'check out'. So I drag myself upstairs to get ready for the day. I give myself the 'You can DO this' pep talk in the bathroom mirror. I pull it together for no other reason than because I am a mother, I am their mother, the only one they'll ever have. And one day they won't care if I would rather stay in bed and watch Lifetime Movies all day. It will be THAT day I spend regretting having checked out when they wanted to hang with me. And the present day me cannot stand the lack of air I feel just thinking about those 'lost' days when the kids are older.
There are days when you feel like a million bucks, and then there are days like today. But when you are a mother, you don't always get to choose to tend to your own needs - actually, it can be very rarely - so because I am their mother, I will get it together because yes, I can do this. Then maybe later, I can collapse into a pile of lazy bones and read or, heck, watch Lifetime Movies all day.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Why Denver is Home
When I was nine years old, my parents asked me and my sister if we wanted to move to Colorado. In my nine-year-old mind this sounded great! Like an adventure! I don't believe it had occurred to me that this meant a new life, new school, new everything - and me and 'new' just don't get along well!
So we moved, and although there is so much I could say about how I felt about Colorado (Fort Collins in fact), perspective really can change with time. When I was a senior in high school my plan was to get OUT of Colorado at all costs. College was my "get out of Colorado free" pass and I was cashing that boy in! In the end I attended Colorado State University - in Fort Collins. Later, Babe and I thought we would relocate our little family to Delaware for a job opportunity he had after graduation. It was Denver or Delaware. Needless to say we've been in the Denver area since late 2002 and see no signs of that changing.
Babe's job requires him to travel big cities like Los Angeles, Miami, Atlanta, and even New York City from time to time. It would make a lot of sense for us to relocate to L.A. especially, for his work. But nothing about raising our babies in L.A. or, the latest 'offer' Miami, is appealing to me. Sure there are plenty of plusses, but the minuses outweigh them - for our family - heavily.
Denver, for us, is home for many reasons. And sometimes I get so annoyed with the mundane, same ol', that I dismiss the good about Denver. Today I'm feeling good about home sweet home so I'd better get it in writing NOW!
1. There is nothing like the first heavy mountain snow. I prefer to view it from afar, but this is what Colorado is all about! Snow-capped mountains.
2. Our kids attend a quality school and...get this...we don't even have to PAY for it! Sounds crazy to those in L.A. or NYC I'm sure.
3. When it snows, the sun will inevitably melt it away within the next couple of days so we get to avoid that ugly dirty snow.
4. 300+ days of sun. For me, 'nuff said. This is the kind of sun that can make or break the day's temperature - 55 here is NOTHING like it is most places. It's like a spring day :)
5. Our kids have friends who are from every ethnicity imaginable. And that's just how, I think, it should be.
6. It is very clean here. Maybe that's why things are a bit pricier than some other areas, but when I think of Denver I don't picture it with a layer of dust the way I do some other cities. I like clean.
7. I love telling people I live in Denver so I can tell them they have some big misconceptions about the area. Yes, Black people live here. And No, we don't endure 10 feet of snow at a time in the winter. Oh, and no, we don't live in the mountains - Denver is a city, the mountains are the mountains.
8. And as of late, we have a basketball team that is ballin' out of CONTROL! Who doesn't love those bragging rights? If I wasn't a fan before (I loved Melo, not the Nuggets), I find myself very proud of those Nuggets - let's just hope management doesn't totally dismantle the team!
9. It's one of few cities I feel comfortable driving in because we actually have SPACE on our highways. One false move in some cities and you'll have side-swiped the car next to you! What is THAT?
10. Last, but not least, Colorado is where all-things wonderful have happened in my life: We have family here, I met and married Babe here, and both of my babies were born here. It's where we've made our life! What's not to love?
So we moved, and although there is so much I could say about how I felt about Colorado (Fort Collins in fact), perspective really can change with time. When I was a senior in high school my plan was to get OUT of Colorado at all costs. College was my "get out of Colorado free" pass and I was cashing that boy in! In the end I attended Colorado State University - in Fort Collins. Later, Babe and I thought we would relocate our little family to Delaware for a job opportunity he had after graduation. It was Denver or Delaware. Needless to say we've been in the Denver area since late 2002 and see no signs of that changing.
Babe's job requires him to travel big cities like Los Angeles, Miami, Atlanta, and even New York City from time to time. It would make a lot of sense for us to relocate to L.A. especially, for his work. But nothing about raising our babies in L.A. or, the latest 'offer' Miami, is appealing to me. Sure there are plenty of plusses, but the minuses outweigh them - for our family - heavily.
Denver, for us, is home for many reasons. And sometimes I get so annoyed with the mundane, same ol', that I dismiss the good about Denver. Today I'm feeling good about home sweet home so I'd better get it in writing NOW!
1. There is nothing like the first heavy mountain snow. I prefer to view it from afar, but this is what Colorado is all about! Snow-capped mountains.
2. Our kids attend a quality school and...get this...we don't even have to PAY for it! Sounds crazy to those in L.A. or NYC I'm sure.
3. When it snows, the sun will inevitably melt it away within the next couple of days so we get to avoid that ugly dirty snow.
4. 300+ days of sun. For me, 'nuff said. This is the kind of sun that can make or break the day's temperature - 55 here is NOTHING like it is most places. It's like a spring day :)
5. Our kids have friends who are from every ethnicity imaginable. And that's just how, I think, it should be.
6. It is very clean here. Maybe that's why things are a bit pricier than some other areas, but when I think of Denver I don't picture it with a layer of dust the way I do some other cities. I like clean.
7. I love telling people I live in Denver so I can tell them they have some big misconceptions about the area. Yes, Black people live here. And No, we don't endure 10 feet of snow at a time in the winter. Oh, and no, we don't live in the mountains - Denver is a city, the mountains are the mountains.
8. And as of late, we have a basketball team that is ballin' out of CONTROL! Who doesn't love those bragging rights? If I wasn't a fan before (I loved Melo, not the Nuggets), I find myself very proud of those Nuggets - let's just hope management doesn't totally dismantle the team!
9. It's one of few cities I feel comfortable driving in because we actually have SPACE on our highways. One false move in some cities and you'll have side-swiped the car next to you! What is THAT?
10. Last, but not least, Colorado is where all-things wonderful have happened in my life: We have family here, I met and married Babe here, and both of my babies were born here. It's where we've made our life! What's not to love?
The Little Things
In total, I spent 10 years under a cloud of depression. It is nothing short of a miracle that I can say that I am now free of it and have been for a few years. What I learned from that dark time in my life is that God will be there, even when you doubt He hears your cries, and that I can easily find myself back in that pit if I don't have a grateful spirit.
Being grateful, for me at least, took some practice. I started very basic - and when I feel like the world is caving in on me, I go back to the basics. I would be bored of my household duties, but quickly turned my thoughts to, "I may not feel like doing laundry today, but I'm so thankful we are able to have a washer and dryer in our home to do the laundry for our family of four."
There are days when I don't know what to cook and don't have a bunch of money to go out and buy anything to cook, but when I am grateful that we have food in our pantry, our freezer - both of them - and even enough leftovers in our fridge to feed us all, my perspective changes. Otherwise it is very easy for me to dwell on what I don't have, can't do, what I'm tired of doing, not doing, you name it.
But on any given day I remember to relish in some of my favorite little things. Things that I do with my family and things I do for myself. With Nas I look forward to playing Super Mario Brothers on the Wii after school because he is just so happy to have someone playing his favorite game with him. I don't just love being Luigi, or being told Daddy's better at the game than I am, but it's our little time together for just us.
With Jay, she loves to ride her bike and have me walk 'with' her. She doesn't even leave me! I think she enjoys the time for just us girls and I do too.
Then with Babe, 8:00 pm is my favorite time of day. We watch a movie, basketball, or something we've put on DVR, and just hang. It's our little piece of the day for just the two of us - and when he's out of town it's the time of day I miss him the most.
When Me Time seems pressing, I love to lay on the couch in the sun and read a magazine. There is nothing quite like it - I've learned cats are even smarter than I thought with the lounging in the sun thing! Or I may take a hot bubble bath where, inevitably, Nas will bring his action figures in for a random dive. He'll even invite me to play. I am sure to remember those moments because he definitely won't be doing that much longer.
I realize I live a very comfortable life. Things are not always perfect and every day is not easy, but when I start to think too hard on that which is less than perfect or those things I find difficult, I remember the little things I love about my life and enjoy with my family because in the end, that's all that will ever matter.
Being grateful, for me at least, took some practice. I started very basic - and when I feel like the world is caving in on me, I go back to the basics. I would be bored of my household duties, but quickly turned my thoughts to, "I may not feel like doing laundry today, but I'm so thankful we are able to have a washer and dryer in our home to do the laundry for our family of four."
There are days when I don't know what to cook and don't have a bunch of money to go out and buy anything to cook, but when I am grateful that we have food in our pantry, our freezer - both of them - and even enough leftovers in our fridge to feed us all, my perspective changes. Otherwise it is very easy for me to dwell on what I don't have, can't do, what I'm tired of doing, not doing, you name it.
But on any given day I remember to relish in some of my favorite little things. Things that I do with my family and things I do for myself. With Nas I look forward to playing Super Mario Brothers on the Wii after school because he is just so happy to have someone playing his favorite game with him. I don't just love being Luigi, or being told Daddy's better at the game than I am, but it's our little time together for just us.
With Jay, she loves to ride her bike and have me walk 'with' her. She doesn't even leave me! I think she enjoys the time for just us girls and I do too.
Then with Babe, 8:00 pm is my favorite time of day. We watch a movie, basketball, or something we've put on DVR, and just hang. It's our little piece of the day for just the two of us - and when he's out of town it's the time of day I miss him the most.
When Me Time seems pressing, I love to lay on the couch in the sun and read a magazine. There is nothing quite like it - I've learned cats are even smarter than I thought with the lounging in the sun thing! Or I may take a hot bubble bath where, inevitably, Nas will bring his action figures in for a random dive. He'll even invite me to play. I am sure to remember those moments because he definitely won't be doing that much longer.
I realize I live a very comfortable life. Things are not always perfect and every day is not easy, but when I start to think too hard on that which is less than perfect or those things I find difficult, I remember the little things I love about my life and enjoy with my family because in the end, that's all that will ever matter.
It's a BOY!
After praying, even begging God to give me a son back in 2003, Babe, Jay and I welcomed Nas into our lives on October 30, 2004.
Since day one I have been learning what it is to have a boy in the house, after all, I grew up with a sister and although we had cousins we grew up with, there's nothing quite like 24/7 life with a little boy. What's funny about Nas in particular, is that what makes him a boy has always been part of my learning about boys. Case in point, the day we found out we were having a boy the ultrasound technician said it was quite obvious that ours was a boy. She made sure to print the odd first photo with an arrow pointing at Nas' "obviously boy" parts.
On the day before we were to leave the hospital, Nas was circumcised so things were very tender down there. When we got home I went to change him and the stupid diaper got stuck on his newly cut 'pee-pee'. Because such a disaster had never happened with my first child, a girl, it hadn't even occurred to me so I pulled that diaper down the way I would any baby. And boy did my son cry...and then I cried. This new addition came with an extra part that I just didn't know how to care for!
When he was a couple months old I was up for one of his many every-two-hour feedings where I also changed his diaper. I opened the diaper and was greeted by what looked very much like a pinkie finger ready to pinkie swear with me. THAT was too much. Why couldn't his 'pee-pee' just lay there? I have never quite gotten over that shock and I find myself disturbed just recounting the story. I guess those little suckers are unpredictable from day one!
Well these days, Nas is no longer a baby, he's my six-year-old kindergartner who makes me laugh all the time. One night I was lotioning him after his bath and he shared some intimate details of his relationship with his 'pee-pee'. It is, in his words, his buddy - like he has "Teddy" his teddy bear and he has his 'pee-pee' to keep him company before he drifts off into la-la-land.
"I play with my buddy before I go to sleep," Nas told me.
So, a man is a man is a man was what I learned that night. I don't act stunned about the random things the kids tell me - my sister taught me that mom lesson. Honestly, I don't recall what I asked or said, but it was definitely nothing along the lines of "You'll go blind."
There are nights, even, when I go into his room to check on him only to find his hand in his underwear, staying close to his buddy - I guess. And I don't know if any of this is just boy stuff or if mine is a little quirkier than I know. But so much of having a son has revolved around the part that makes him a boy, I'm honestly worried about what is to come in the future. All I can say is, I'm glad I have one of each because this is one learning experience I don't need to repeat.
Since day one I have been learning what it is to have a boy in the house, after all, I grew up with a sister and although we had cousins we grew up with, there's nothing quite like 24/7 life with a little boy. What's funny about Nas in particular, is that what makes him a boy has always been part of my learning about boys. Case in point, the day we found out we were having a boy the ultrasound technician said it was quite obvious that ours was a boy. She made sure to print the odd first photo with an arrow pointing at Nas' "obviously boy" parts.
On the day before we were to leave the hospital, Nas was circumcised so things were very tender down there. When we got home I went to change him and the stupid diaper got stuck on his newly cut 'pee-pee'. Because such a disaster had never happened with my first child, a girl, it hadn't even occurred to me so I pulled that diaper down the way I would any baby. And boy did my son cry...and then I cried. This new addition came with an extra part that I just didn't know how to care for!
When he was a couple months old I was up for one of his many every-two-hour feedings where I also changed his diaper. I opened the diaper and was greeted by what looked very much like a pinkie finger ready to pinkie swear with me. THAT was too much. Why couldn't his 'pee-pee' just lay there? I have never quite gotten over that shock and I find myself disturbed just recounting the story. I guess those little suckers are unpredictable from day one!
Well these days, Nas is no longer a baby, he's my six-year-old kindergartner who makes me laugh all the time. One night I was lotioning him after his bath and he shared some intimate details of his relationship with his 'pee-pee'. It is, in his words, his buddy - like he has "Teddy" his teddy bear and he has his 'pee-pee' to keep him company before he drifts off into la-la-land.
"I play with my buddy before I go to sleep," Nas told me.
So, a man is a man is a man was what I learned that night. I don't act stunned about the random things the kids tell me - my sister taught me that mom lesson. Honestly, I don't recall what I asked or said, but it was definitely nothing along the lines of "You'll go blind."
There are nights, even, when I go into his room to check on him only to find his hand in his underwear, staying close to his buddy - I guess. And I don't know if any of this is just boy stuff or if mine is a little quirkier than I know. But so much of having a son has revolved around the part that makes him a boy, I'm honestly worried about what is to come in the future. All I can say is, I'm glad I have one of each because this is one learning experience I don't need to repeat.
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